#14 As many last names as possible

July 21, 2010 by Panamaniac

Panamanians like to tack on any name possible to theirs in an effort to appear more worldly. Ethnic names such as Italian are popular and besides the general “de la blahbla,” Panamanians like to borrow names from their parents, their grandparents, and in some cases their pets to form the longest feasible string of surnames. Have you met Sara Michelle A Mangravita Torres Angel Vega Vida de la Guardia Blahblah? No? Well you should!

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Posted in Uncategorized | 16 Comments

16 Responses

on July 31, 2010 at 2:39 pm | Reply David

You can call it a Pedigree. lol.

In the USA, you will find that many of the prominent, affluent people do the same thing to retain their Heritage, especially when they are proud descendants of great people. You’ll find them by the tens of thousands in organizations like the SAR and the DAR. So, you’re pretty ignorant of your own American culture and traditions. It’s not “just a Panamanian thing.”

In most countries of the world, you are registered with your father and your mother’s last name (in that order). Which makes a lot of common sense since it usually takes two to tango, -unless you’re Jesus Christ or a deep-woods redneck where your family tree “ain’t got no” branches. When a woman marries, they will add their married name with the prefix “of” in front of it. So now you’ll know exactly her dad, mom, and her husband’s family names are.

So, now on the flip side, when you’re asked to say your full name and you only say one family name, will you be conscious that other people may think you’re trailer trash probably living in the boonies of Kentucky? Because you’re definitely not qualifying to be the next Messiah!
on July 31, 2010 at 5:26 pm | Reply Chiricana

Again, you are mistaken.

Panamanians do not add names on as they feel like it.. They have their first name, perhaps a middle name, and then the last name of their father, then the last name of their mother.

When a woman marries, she drops her mothers last name and adds “de” and then her husbands last name.

Your web site is truly offensive to panamanians
on August 22, 2010 at 3:20 am | Reply kery

I am agree with you Chiricana. Some estatements that he has are truly offensive. I do not know where he came from, but he should research more about us.
on August 22, 2010 at 10:19 pm | Reply JoJo Dancer

Chiricana, can you please explain to me exactly why this website is offensive? Does it claim that “all Panamanians are dumb?” I’m not seeing that anywhere.

Lighten up! It’s a humorous blog that doesn’t seem to be overly aggressive or negative in its observations. Launch your own “StuffGringosLike.com” blog and have a laugh at their expense. The ability to laugh at one’s own faults, and moreover, to celebrate them as what makes you and an entire culture as unique, is a sign of success. Panamanians have plenty of wonderful traits, as well as some tragic faults. But the most obvious of the latter is the total inability to accept any criticism, even if constructive and utterly obvious.

If the country cannot move past the “FU, we’re awesome!” mindset, it will have to get used to remaining in the 2nd world long-term.
on September 1, 2010 at 5:37 am | Reply panameño

JoJo Dancer: so i take by this comment that “gringos” are the most tolerant of people ? give me a freaking break!!! you want more tolerance from panamanians ? have you forgotten about how panama was invaded by “americans” in a WAR that killed thousands of innocent civilians ? even after all of that we are completely open and welcoming to all U.S residents and visitors.
And i really dont get you comment about panamanians accepting their “faults”…as far as i know using both your mother’s and father’s last name is not a fault…its a choice that pays respect to both of the family lines. Who the fuck are you to tell us how to move into being “first world”….people like you are the reason why the “americans” are so disliked around the world. Check yourself!!!
on September 2, 2010 at 7:13 am | Reply Jojo

Pana:

RELAX. If you also find the site “offensive”, simply don’t read it. To pop off with all the F bombs only confirms that you and all the other hyper-sensitives reading who are unable to enjoy even a guilty chuckle fulfill the Panamanian stereotype of microscopic thin skin.

For the record, I’m not Gringo…and I sympathize with the fact that Gringos snatched Panama from Colombia, built the Canal with slave labor and installed a military puppet regime in Panama for 100 years. However, I’m not sure what that bit of history has to do with determining whether this blog is funny or offensive.

Love,

JoJo
on September 3, 2010 at 1:56 am | Reply Anita

The author of this blog is the typical simpleton who travels to Panama, observes a few things, and becomes an authority on Panamanians.

His arrogance and ignorance are so obvious that it is difficult to take him seriously. This bog is soooo unscientific and silly at best.

This is certainly an anti Panama agenda.

¿Sera celoso y envidioso de nosotros? Me imagino que sí.
Que pena, pero que pena de verdad.

Saludos desde Nueva York.
on September 21, 2010 at 5:42 pm | Reply ingwie

mi circulo de amigos ninguno hace prácticamente nada de esta lista.. lo único q este caballero muestra aki es la clase de imbeciles arrogantes q vienen a nuestro Panama, de USA. con razon nadie los traga alrededor del mundo.
on September 22, 2010 at 12:47 am | Reply JoJo Dancer

Hey Anita! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! Yeah, the only way anybody could make these observations is if they were born of jealousy, or bitterness toward all Panamanians. Get a friggin’ set of eyeballs already.
on September 22, 2010 at 6:05 pm | Reply alberto

OMG…. anti-Panama agenda?? Anita, first off, take the needle out of your ass. Ok, good. Now have you looked at other sites on the web? There are a million like this with all races and cultures. How about you go to stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, check that out…But no one should DARE critize Panamanians… living in that mentality I suggest you stay in Panama, because you’re not going to get very far in the rest of the world with that mentality.
on December 2, 2010 at 3:45 am | Reply Jack Black

Yes, the last names end when one comes up with a little pedrigree behind it, LOL…
on December 13, 2010 at 1:02 am | Reply naomi

What??? where did you get that from?
on December 17, 2010 at 10:28 pm | Reply A friend

They don’t ignore the woman’s family last name as most English speaking nations do.
on May 26, 2011 at 5:10 pm | Reply Paname;o

I guess it’s mainly offensive because these observations aren’t expressed by a Panamanian. If a Panamanian were to manage this kind of blog, it’d be funny actually. Either way, many of the entries posted on this blog are exaggerated or false. I have no “gringo friends” nor would I take more or less pride in having them, I always use my first last name and if I use the second last name it’s because it was asked of me, I don’t have an affinity towards rollerblading, nor is my house filled with bathroom tiles. I actually DO enjoy going to el Casco and I go frequently with my friends who are all 100% Panamanian. I guess these observations are all from the perspective of an American citizen living in Panama with limited social interaction with nationals, because all the people I know would have the same opinion as me. The only post I enjoyed was the “My name is Panama” because it is true. However, te la cagaste con el final de “Figali VIP”.. WTH is Figali VIP? It’s just a seating section for concerts, get over it
on September 11, 2011 at 3:07 pm | Reply Big Browser

My real american name is John Doe, but I prefer using my panamanian name which is Juan Carlos Nucaroja Moron del Bayou, because my complete name tells the whole story about my background and especially where I am coming from…
on January 11, 2012 at 9:55 pm | Reply Chica

You guys are insane! I just wanted to know some common names that’s all. Can you tell me some COMMON Panamanian last names PLEASE!?