One of the most efficient ways of gaining Panamanian friendship is to talk to them about jews. 88% of Panamanians have had a Jewish boss/friend who has done something bad to them and referencing this information can gain you a one-way ticket to the Panamanian heart.
In the Panamanian book of who not to trust, jews come right after Colombians and because most of Panama’s jews are wealthy, your first priority is to steer the conversation to the topic of inequality. (Example: “The jews park all their Range Rovers and I cannot find a space!”) It is also acceptable to reference stores that are inconveniently closed on Jewish holidays (Example: “Oh, Multiplaza is closed today because of the jews.”). For added effect, you can say that a jewish person was rude or disrespectful in the process.
If none of these tactics work, try saying that you went to a Jewish school as a child. This is a way of saying, “I know too many bad jew stories to count” without necessarily coming up with anything specific.
Note: If you do happen to encounter a Panamaniana jew, it’s important not to freak out. There is a 13% chance that they have non-Jewish friends. You can also say “I’m jewish too” in which case the tables will turn and they will most likely invite you over for seder.