One of the first gringos ever to get "espasmo" in Panama
Submitted by “Le Habla Dios”
Panamanians have a lot of superstitions but the most serious and dangerous one is something known only as “espasmo.” Espasmo is as mysterious as it is harmful and you should not do anything in Panama without knowing the central espasmo rules.
First. Don’t iron. Don’t ever iron. If you iron and anytime thereafter encounter moisture (be it a sink or a toilet or a tropical downpour), espasmo rule #1 says half of your face will freeze for eternity. Have you ever seen someone walking with a serious limp, whose body appears to be half paralyzed? Espasmo.
Second, don’t ever engage the body in a sinister combination of hot and cold. If you are organizing your freezer, for example, and then are forced to cook a hot soup, be extremely watchful. Half of your arm will go limp for the rest of your life. In some countries this is diagnosed as carpal tunnel or arthritis. In Panama? Espasmo.
Third, don’t ever, ever, ever consume watermelon in the vicinity of liquor. Panamanians will drink just about anything but the moment watermelon is introduced, all bets are off. Just about every Panamanian knows someone who has fallen to the watermelon-liquor espasmo. Just ask.
In general, a good rule to remember about “espasmo” is that it cannot be explained or medically proven but that does not mean it doesn’t exist. All Panamanians of all ages know about espasmo yet are very cautious who they explain it to. They are also not too sure exactly what happens when you get espasmo, but all know someone who has gotten infected. If you have seen the crippled man on the street or the lady with the really ugly face, then you have seen espasmo too.
That kind of looks and sounds like Bell’s Palsy.
also called, “se viera”. easily cured by paying 20% more for ironing.
Ever put a hot frying pan in hot water and see what happens?…maybe there’s some validity to this belief. Hey, at least they’re not prescribing pills for “ESPASMO” as they would in some other countries I dare not mention.
dude–go to any pizzaria in panama and watch kuna cook take cheese out of cold fridge, pull pizza out of hot oven and repeat all night long. ask said kuna about “espasmo” and he will tell you that is a wives tale. if you think he is ignorant freak of nature then take your superstitious self to any restaurant anywhere in the world and watch same hot-cold actions repeated. then ask yourself, could there be a reason why only maids in panama and venezuela have this superstition? maybe they don’t want to get arthritis and resent being paid less than minimum wage to iron your fricking shirts! solution is to send the shirts out to the dry cleaner or to pay your maid more.
Damn hoe, that is some chopped up English grammar you’ve got. Soy tutor, así que cualquiera cosa dame una llamadita, no te voy a cobrar un ojo de la cara eh!
Chinese laundry and dry cleaners and their Panamanian staff never seem to suffer “espasmos”. That’s a good reason to entrust them with your ironing job. Incidentally, they do it better and for less money than a house maid.
You are all cheap, that too causes espasmo!
Colombian maids are in on the game too. I know one that refused to COOK because of the fridge and the oven. AND iron, of course. These chores, according to her, were prohibited by her DOCTOR (of the Caja del Seguro, no less).
Good article
I get ejaculation espasmos whenever I switch to differeny temperatured rooms, ahhh good old college risky sex hahaha!
Panamaniac, new Panamaniaco that is, where you from man? I’ve been meaning to ask for quite a while. Serious response por favor.
P.S does old Panamaniac follow/post in this blog? He seemed like a half-way decent fella, even though some of his posts were straight up horse shit.
Originally Texas
Espasmos is just granmas tales, so is sereno…
why has this blog stopped doing anything regularly? i miss the updates. Please bring them back or find someone who can or anything really.
Sorry i can’t be more constructive, just wondering if this bookmark is becoming defunct (unfortunately – it is a great little blog and very funny as well as informative)
We opened a restaurant in La Chorrera and teaching that superstition out of the Panamanians working for us was so difficult.
We researched trusted medical sites on the internet and found our answer. The spasms that they think are caused by a combination of hot and cold, is actually caused by dehydration AND leaving a hot environment for a cold one. This can definitely cause severe muscle spasms. It does go away, contrary to their superstitious belief.
When we told them it was a requirement to drink at least one large glass of water every 1 – 2 hours during their shift, they thought we were crazy. Hmm…think it’s crazy to drink water, eh? Well, I can definitely believe their dehydrated enough to get spasms then.
Its nor “se viera” it’s “se vira” which means it twists or turns.
[...] According to Mr Panamaniac, you must never eat a watermelon if there’s liquor around. Ever. Apparently, [...]